The PLAY sex column may be a guilty pleasure for some of you, because it is a place where things we don't normally talk about in everyday life are discussed and examined. This is definitely going to be one of those kinds of columns.
Strangely enough, I got the idea to become a columnist from reading an article about anal sex that I thought provided poor advice. I was immediately concerned that columns like this are published all the time and incorrect information wantonly floats about to the detriment of people and their sex lives. I wanted to rectify that in any way I could. And I wanted to be able to write dirty words and not get in trouble.
But back to anal. Anal play has a stigma attached to it for many reasons, but I do know that a lot more people than you might think are curious, if not very, interested in it. There are three things that are crucial to have before engaging in anal play. The first and most important is desire. If you don't want to have anal sex, don't. Don't do it as a special treat for a partner - it's not like baking a cake. The only way anal will be enjoyable is if both parties are really in to it. As a friend of mine once said, "you can't fool your ass." Sometimes it can help to hear from a third party, who's not trying to shove something in your ass this very second (well, only if you're lucky), that anal play can be fun. If you're curious, try your own manicured finger first. A note to butt shy straight men: Putting something in your butt doesn't make you even a little bit gay. Body parts are body parts, and if it feels good (which it does), do it. Who's going to know?
The second thing is more practical - a good lubricant. Your ass doesn't provide its own lubrication, so you want to use something that won't dry up or get tacky quickly. Also, don't use a lube that has any numbing agents. There shouldn't be any pain involved with anal play, trust me, and if there is STOP. Pain is your body's way of telling you that something is amiss. Back up (I couldn't resist), re-lube, relax and try again - slowly. If it still hurts, try again another time. This is crucial to having safer sex along with latex gloves, dams and condoms. We all know what comes from that region. And we need to be aware of safety precautions in order to have good, clean fun!
Lastly, if someone else is involved, you need to really trust the person who will be in your butt. Shit can happen, in life as in anal play, and you need to be comfortable enough with another person to not let that hinder you. Although seriously, if you poop and shower regularly, there's really no need to worry that much about any digestive mishaps. Don't try any laxatives, enemas, or any of that stuff - that's when accidents really happen. But that's a whole other column.
So there you have it, lovers - have fun, be safe and try it up the butt!4
SESP senior Margo Scott is a PLAY sex columnist. She can be reached at margaret-scott@northwestern.edu.
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