Wow, what an exit! As the most outspoken member of the six- or seven-odd students who read Ms. Staine's column every week, I can say that she will be sorely missed by the Northwestern community. For the past nine weeks I have spent my Wednesday mornings rolled up into a ball, rocking back and forth on my bed feverishly anticipating Susan's steamy new tortilla - I mean, column.
What makes her writings so alluring is their unpredictability; one week she blindsided us with a column saying that Taco Bell isn't authentic Mexican food, only to completely sideswipe us with a column about her Latina sorority the next week. In fact, my greatest fear every week would be that she wouldn't endow me with another few nachos of wisdom about her Latina culture.
However, for some strange reason, this style did not appeal to The Daily's readership. According to them, she writes about the same thing every week! Her columns are self-serving and boring! She couldn't pass a creative writing course to save her life! Well, you know what: To Susan Staine, and to me, none of these things matter. She is setting the record straight once and for all and sticking to her strong belief that columns do not need to be interesting. Or funny, or relevant, or anything that you snobby Daily readers care about.
Like Susan said, "I've only ever tried to write about what it's like being me." I, for one, have wanted desperately to know what that is like. Susan Staine is a rebel! When other columnists wrote about the most important and influential presidential elections of this century, she scoffed at their attention to public opinion and their desire to serve the readership and wrote about sniffing markers. Sure, it wasn't funny, relevant or interesting, but now I know what it's like to be Susan Staine, and that is all I wanted.
Being a columnist means never having to say you're sorry, even when your columns are worthless. It means standing up to bullies like fact-checkers and spell-checkers. It means fudging the five sample column topics you are supposed to give on the columnist application and just writing the same basic column every week when you get the job.
This leads me to the big misconception people have about columnists: People think that columnists are supposed to write about current issues, funny anecdotes or philosophical musings. That is false. You are supposed to write about yourself, and I am glad at least one columnist has been doing that this quarter.
Kudos to you, Susan! For sticking up for yourself in front of your legions of critics - who are probably just one or two people - please make me an honorary Latina. Olé!
-LUKE J. ADAMS Weinberg junior



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