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While scraping snow off my car Wednesday and wondering why I ever left my Teaching Media assignment in Fort Lauderdale (whatever happened to global warming?), I came to a shocking realization - I wasn't mad.
Yes, I was cold. But I felt no anger, which is very rare for me. And I didn't have the urge to complain about anything, which is even rarer for me.
So everyone in the Northwestern Athletic Department can relax this week, because I'm not going to criticize you.
But I am still trying to figure out just how big you all are going to make the cheerleading and mascot squads after the campus-wide expansion effort is over.
I personally think we should focus more on quality, not quantity. What good is having multiple Willies going to do? He is just too fuzzy to intimidate anyone. We need to find some sort of wildcat - like a panther or mountain lion - spray paint it purple and let it roam around Ryan Field. Or maybe we should just return to our Fighting Methodists roots. The switch would certainly boost apparel sales.
But I digress. I promised to give the Athletic Department a break. So I figured I would list for everyone the reasons I'm in such a good mood.
n For starters, the NHL playoffs are on. There is just something infectious about playoff hockey. Then again, it could be my secret desire to have a mullet. If you have never watched hockey before, turn on a game this postseason, you will not be disappointed.
n The 2007 NFL schedule was announced Wednesday, which means football season is almost here. While I enjoy hockey and can tolerate baseball, I love football. Trust me, I celebrate everytime Ben Roethlisberger wakes up not in a hospital bed. Training camp can't start soon enough.
n National Felons League commissioner Roger Goodell suspended Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones for all of next season. I admit, if I could round up $50,000 in cash I might be tempted to shower it on strippers in Las Vegas, but nobody deserves to be shot while I'm being an idiot. Also, Jones' college teammate, Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chris Henry was suspended for eight games. Nice character building West Virginia.
n NU quarterback C.J. Bachér is healthy again. If you suffered through any of the lethargic Brewer-Kafka games last season, you know just how important Bachér's left toe will be for NU's bowl game hopes.
n Christy Finch was finally recognized for her unselfish contributions to one of the greatest women's lacrosse teams in NCAA history. The junior defender was named Player of the Week by womenslax.com for causing five turnovers in NU's 17-5 thrashing of then-No. 4 Duke on Saturday.
n The NU women's tennis team has a chance to break into the top 10 if it can tame No. 2 Notre Dame on Friday. Maybe this doesn't get you that excited, but this team tends to get overshadowed by NU's top lacrosse and softball programs. No worries ladies, there are enough NCAA trophies for everyone.
n The three Duke men's lacrosse players accused of kidnapping, rape, robbery, littering and swimming after eating were finally cleared of all charges. Even better, the numbskull DA who chased criminal convictions is being investigated and could be disbarred. I can only wonder if the Duke kids will invite strippers to their celebration party.
n ASG finally realized that nobody cares about ASG. Less than half of the campus voted in an election of unopposed races. And Jason Gumer's ability to grab 255 votes after campaigning for 12 hours has inspired me to start the "Tyrell Sutton for ASG Prez in '08" campaign. If he wins I'll dye my hair purple in Beth Combs fashion.
n NU hired a new women's cross-country coach. Actually, she's an old coach with a new name. And her hiring wasn't even due to a firing, because the previous coach resigned. So much for thinking the athletic department had the backbone to make a necessary change. (There goes my good mood.)
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